June 1, 2010

Date, Mate And Then Hate?


I was chatting up with a couple of friends over a coffee about" live in" relationships. How did we start talking of this?

Well, one of them is getting married soon and another is moving to a big city like Mumbai where the rents are higher than the tallest of buildings known to human kind! Then I asked if it was having their guy stay with them in places like such it would be common sense. They said, if for a weekend or maybe a week, it would be OK but not beyond that. That set me thinking about the whole thing. Why are Live-in relationships so notorious in a civilized society?

If by civility, then a society should be able to understand that it would be two adults living together and sharing their lives. Wait, have I heard that before? Isn’t it a marriage? But then a legal document that gives you the license to live together is all that there is I guess. That’s because, from what I see, it’s the same thing but for the documentation. Including the sex!

If you say legality, then, the laws give the same status of a married couple to that of a live-in couple but without the messy divorce details followed if the couple can’t stay together. Now don’t tell me Marriage is Sacred and all just because you want to say you belong to old school of thought. All I am saying is of the sanctimony of the relationship is the same with or without the sign on a certificate and an elaborate session of merrymaking in terms of a wedding.

Even economically it is more of a money saver! You are single, pay for your own needs within your means and if things don’t work out, move out! Aren’t our western counterparts doing the same? We’ve even got a couple of celebs who are known to be living with each other for years. Then, my friends said what about your family? The parents, the relatives and, those around them? Aren’t you answerable? I guess we do live in a society where everybody wants to know everybody’s business.

The moral obligations of a society lay on the shoulders of the entire nit picking aunties and uncles who shudder at the thought of young couple who aren’t married! Is it because the couples could be Hippies - sex starved, immoral delinquents? (Shudder shudder). Why not normal human beings who are willing to leave everything aside and live together and know one another through the highs and lows but not through the phone? There must be some factors that have brought them together and if they are valid then they could culminate it into Marriage-only of need be!

I guess because everything has its own time. You are born, then get educated, get married, bear children who’ll be the progeny, get them married off then live happily ever after! We’re the traditionalists after all!