Happy New Year?

This year is ending. Nothing new I could say. Why?
We have the same old New Year Resolutions and vows to ourselves for a better versions of what we are. They might not even survive post a week of celebratory felicitations.
But I still have made one. One to shut up! If you know me, you'd know it a gargantuan task. However, when I say I will shut up, I mean I will not talk out of turn, and not post random comments on Facebook. I will try to be a better listener to my friends and maybe the family too. I ramble a lot and you can see the posts I have put up are lots of the rambling rants.

Again, don't these rambling rants become fodder for the inane? I think so. So what the heck! I'll do the only thing I happen to be bearable at. And that is Ramble in the Bronx!
So much for a new year resolution! Ha!

When I grow up...

As a kid, we are all asked what we would like to be when we grow up. The generic answers being teacher, doctor, lawyer or astronaut. depending on our immediate environment. However, there are a few kids who say the darndest things like a rockstar, cricketer or one of the three musketeers (some have been mouseketeers, but getting to the point). We all are expected to have jobs that we have been subconsciously trained to do. How? when was the last time you went ahead to your parent and said, I want to be a wildlife photographer. I'm sure if you happen to be an Asian kid, you've got glares that are colder than the arctics. That's because, according to them, you are a kid who doesn't know the "value" of a desk job where you are in a cushy job. 

I quit my job. I am not saying you should too but I haven't been happier. I've made an impression alright. An impression of my derriere on the seat. Nothing else. I never took leaves, been to office on time, yada yada yada... Then my friends struck me. Not the realisation mind you. (It dawned on me after I left!) 

I was working and getting cozy in the warm security blanket the company was offering but, was I happy? Did I truly lead myself into believing that I was living the hi-life? Guilty as charged. 

I studied and earned a degree in Mass communications because as a 14 year old, i knew i wanted to be in   Media. whatever form as long as it was creatively satisfying. As a 22 year old, I am now letting go of the gumption and letting my parents decide that a cushy job is better than being between jobs and creative passions are weekend affairs! My aims to be a travel writer or a photographer are now being regaled as a journalist for a local newspaper by my parents. I guess i am at fault here. 

I am inspired to do something different. I need to take hold of my life and not be like them and say," I wish my parents let me be a successful copywriter." I am on a break from my boring corporate self and letting the inner bohemian do her thing! Even the voices in my head are cheering me on! 

When I grow up, I want to be my 14 year old self!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urGJLl1Iol8

Sun le...

Milte kuch saahilon ko kinara jahaan,
Milte hain kuch saaye bhi wahaan. 
Jaana na hai mujhe kahin door,
Bas, yaadon mein dabke, nahi hona hai choor.
O majhi mere le chal wahin us kinare, 
Jo gair apne bhi ho aur ho paraye...

Couldn't ask for more...

Looking back at my past, I see that a lot has changed over the years.


Meeting up the friends from your childhood is like looking back at a time of innocence when everything was just right. And the only thing of concern was the scoldings we'd get for misdemeanor.

Cherished...

Today was a day I met up with a few of my cherished friends. Who grew up and are living lives that we are dreaming of that we would achieve. But there was something I saw in all of us. A sense of comfort that couldn't be shared with anyone else! I did not have to say what's happening but just give an overview that life is good or not so good. And they understood. No questions asked and that felt so complete. I couldn't have asked for more. I knew they were there for sharing and creating memories. Nothing else!


Picking up threads of conversation when we last left off! Even if it meant it was a conversation we had a couple of years ago! Everything was just right. No one to impress and act oh-so-correctly! We ate finger food with cutlery just because we felt like it! Sat in the corner of the bookstore, made it a world of our own where no one disturbed us. Hammering out the frustrations that the rest of the gang dint show up!


 I felt so much like the child I had begun to forget in the daily rigmarole of life. We had so much to pretend and dance and sing and shout about! We were doing things because we felt like it and not because it was supposed to happen as per the agenda. I mean no itinerary! We just went wherever we wanted to. Even if it meant fall (sorry-V). We drove around the city where the "kids and parents" wouldn't cramp our style!


Where has all this wonderment and excitement drained out? Is it the realization that we are now grown ups and need to act the part? But why can't we still be so excited about every morning and, be amazed at the clouds shaped as a rabbits scampering across the sky? I don't want to be treated like a kid but would definitely not want to lose the age of innocence when mom's hug and dad's shoulders were the only things needed to fight the rude neighbourhood kids? Well, I guess we have to get off the roller coaster and say, "Whoa! Awesome! Lets go on it again!" or else we'd never know how the ride's been all along.


And the best part? It was Children's day. It couldn't have been better.

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”- George MacDonald

Trust: A firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or the strength of smne or smthn.

The dictionary defines it with such ease. But to apply it in actuality is such a task! It takes a lot of belief in another person to have unwavering trust. A friend, a lover, family or colleague. one needs to trust them. but why is it so? In this cynical world where everything seems to have its price, what place or value does trust hold? And it's wisely said, "Takes years to build and moment to shatter. Such is Trust".

I have had my moments where my trust has been misplaced or apt. There are moments when I question my whole belief system as to why or howor what have i done, should or shouldn't do. As I grow older, the cynicism increases. My genial nature seems to become caustic and bitter. Is this because I am vary of the things around me? Is this because I also see my friends being led off track from what is a perfect life that's rosy and comfortable?

I don't know what to say... I don't want to sound bitter or undermined. But then do I trust you in knowing what is to say?

Head or Heart?

I often hear people saying follow your heart, it knows the truth. Some on the other hand, speak of the head ruling the heart that's why, its important to think. 


I am standing at the crossroads at this juncture of life. i am what one would describe as a person who is smart, responsible and full of potential! Now that, in my opinion, sounds too good to be true. Simply because i'm a regular person who is just learning to know my identity, use the fundamentals i've been taught and to do things right. 


I have been at a wonderful job with a well reputed company that knows its employees are people. I have lots of thing at my disposal and freedom of taking as many leaves too just so that I come back with a renewed vigour to the job. I'm in an environment that has a lot to offer. Be it professionally or personally. I'm at one of the high points of the learning curve! But, yes there is a slight resonance of hesitation. i don't see myself as following a routine approach to things at a desk where i am doing the same thing at the same time as the time last week, month or year or for that matter in years to come. Am a kind of a person who is like many of this generation of gimme more! I don't like the thought of getting comfortable for too long but that also doesn't mean i don't get my siestas! ;) 


Lets see which is the road not taken. Robert Frost? Help! 

Seeking Wanderlust

Been thinking of travelling ever since I can remember... Going across the plains, the hills , the beaches and the mountains.. Clicking photos that encompass a wide array of human emotions with such passion that, I feel i'm living life! a life that's always longed for.

Now in case you wondering, what's holding you? Simple, my family. you can travel wherever you want when you get married! Hate this answer. Every time I'm about to book the tickets, a recce of the place is taken care of by my dad, find out the number of relatives known to us, who can help me out-mom. I mean, I just want to go with a couple of friends to a hilly village near Aruku or roam the beaches of Pondi speaking to a random French person- in French of course! ( irrespective of my meagre comprehension of the language!). Go to the far out deserts in Rajasthan and maybe sit out on the ghat at Banares and Kolkatta. Soak in the history in the forts and palaces spread out across the Deccan Plateau. that's all I want.. not too much to ask for a "independant girl of the 21st century"!
Money? what else am I working for? I think, should find a publisher who'd risk his reputation, let me tap into the writer in me and pay me for doing what I like! :D

Dreams... Sigh! Wander-lust! Double sigh!!

Guess its time to wake up and have coffee.. it's getting cold by the window sill...

I Dream...

Dreams are said to be messages of the subconscious. It is up to us to listen to them whether we are awake or in deep sleep. It could be the vivid hopes and aspirations we wish to have in our lives.

I remember a story I was told of as a child. It was about Emperor Akbar and his trusted friend Birbal. It is said that once Akbar had a dream wherein an old Akbar had lost all his teeth but one. And when he asked Birbal about what it could have meant, he simply replied,” Sire, it means that you will succeed and live longer than all of your counterparts and relatives.” Pleased that he was, Birbal was handsomely rewarded by Akbar. He then took it in his stride and became one of the most recognized names in history .Truly outliving his counterparts and relatives!

Now, as a child I was amused at Akbar’s benevolence towards Birbal. Why did he have to reward Birbal for such an answer?

Today, I understand its value. A dream is what you make of it to be. It could be considered to tell us something of a positive note. We just need to realize this and achieve it. One dreams of many things. It could be a dream of becoming something worthwhile or our daily lives we have subconsciously noted as something significant. I dream of being… A person, who has worked hard to make each and every dream come true. A person, who sought to make a better example of herself amongst her peers. A person, who strived hard to achieve the very reason she wakes up for. I dream of becoming a person my peers would regard as an achiever, a winner and best of all a true dreamer.

I know I might sound like a zealous schoolgirl with a long way ahead of us. But, aren't we all looking forward to be better than what we were yesterday? I think we all need to just wake up to make the dream a reality. Set the template for more! Ting! :D

The grass is always greener on the other side.

1. One always assumes the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Why is this so? Is it because we always assume what we have is not enough? I guess it is the human thing to outdo our peers as the feeling of competition seeps in. If it is so, what is wrong in being a little ambitious? I don’t see anything negative in being ambitious because it instills the drive or the need to motivate oneself in order to be on the other side of the fence where greenery is eternal. This competitive ambition is in us from the time we compare our progress reports in school to see, why has the other person get to have everything our parents promised us!

We may out grow our childish tantrums but the drive to get better than others for any reason, be it materialistic or not is always there. We always want to have. Economics also deals with the wants and needs and we cover this even in political sciences. So this theory of assuming the grass is greener on the other side of the fence rings true since time immemorial.

We always look for thing we don’t have but what of the things we have? We need to have a habit of inculcating positivity and ensuring that we bring the greener side to us so that we say the grass is greener on this side always! You never know that whatever it is we have right now is the bone of contention for the others. There are always some people who look towards us to be inspired from and to learn from because according to them, the grass we have beneath our feet is greener than the emeralds worn by our neighbors!

Euthanesia

Mercy Killing. Is it Viable?

The term Mercy killing is a contradictory term. One cannot kill and call it an act of Mercy. This is simply because Mercy in traditional terms, is an emotion that deals with nurturing, caring and help. And Killing on the other hand is to end, to annihilate.

However, Mercy killing in today’s time is an emotional need to euthanize a fellow human being who is living with pain (physical and emotional) and suffering. Is it viable? It is difficult to say. Why? This is because it depends on the person who is fighting the agony and pain in hope of having a life shared with family and friends. This need to linger physically is stronger in those who are not very old and have yet to live a “fulfilled” life. But, on the other hand, it is a welcome choice for those who choose not to live a life of a vegetable who, is in a constant need of attention both medical and spiritual.

I have personally witnessed the dilemma of having to offer the choice of mercy killing or euthanasia. A person suffering from a degenerative disease till it consumes the person, the body and the being is a difficult thing. One tends to forget the real person who we relate and connect to and start to see the vegetable which can’t do anything. This seems inhumane I agree but, what can one do when one has exhausted all hope, resources and loses sight of what was once dear? And then the person who is undergoing the trials and tribulations, the humiliation and the pain is alone here. Even in jest, a melancholic person may ask for death but what of those who think they deserve to spare all those around.

After thinking through it all, how can one firmly tell that Mercy killing is Viable?

Date, Mate And Then Hate?

I was chatting up with a couple of friends over a coffee about" live in" relationships. How did we start talking of this?

Well, one of them is getting married soon and another is moving to a big city like Mumbai where the rents are higher than the tallest of buildings known to human kind! Then I asked if it was having their guy stay with them in places like such it would be common sense. They said, if for a weekend or maybe a week, it would be OK but not beyond that. That set me thinking about the whole thing. Why are Live-in relationships so notorious in a civilized society?

If by civility, then a society should be able to understand that it would be two adults living together and sharing their lives. Wait, have I heard that before? Isn’t it a marriage? But then a legal document that gives you the license to live together is all that there is I guess. That’s because, from what I see, it’s the same thing but for the documentation. Including the sex!

If you say legality, then, the laws give the same status of a married couple to that of a live-in couple but without the messy divorce details followed if the couple can’t stay together. Now don’t tell me Marriage is Sacred and all just because you want to say you belong to old school of thought. All I am saying is of the sanctimony of the relationship is the same with or without the sign on a certificate and an elaborate session of merrymaking in terms of a wedding.

Even economically it is more of a money saver! You are single, pay for your own needs within your means and if things don’t work out, move out! Aren’t our western counterparts doing the same? We’ve even got a couple of celebs who are known to be living with each other for years. Then, my friends said what about your family? The parents, the relatives and, those around them? Aren’t you answerable? I guess we do live in a society where everybody wants to know everybody’s business.

The moral obligations of a society lay on the shoulders of the entire nit picking aunties and uncles who shudder at the thought of young couple who aren’t married! Is it because the couples could be Hippies - sex starved, immoral delinquents? (Shudder shudder). Why not normal human beings who are willing to leave everything aside and live together and know one another through the highs and lows but not through the phone? There must be some factors that have brought them together and if they are valid then they could culminate it into Marriage-only of need be!

I guess because everything has its own time. You are born, then get educated, get married, bear children who’ll be the progeny, get them married off then live happily ever after! We’re the traditionalists after all!

Today, as I gaze through the window from my office bay, I wonder many wonderful things I would love to do right now. Watch an old Hrishikesh Mukherjee movie or some Scrabble with friends.

I then realised, weather influences our mood so much! I see many happy people chattering away with their forgotten neighbours, old friends, new colleagues just because the day is so right! Its not too hot or too cold, not too windy and not too bright! It actually is an aphrodisiac! Couples getting away from their daily routines just so that they can be together. mothers taking their kids to the parks, friends catching up at their favourite malls and cafes. I wish this stayed so. I bet the shrinks wouldn't mind an off day too!

Signing off... I remember the song Its a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong.

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The One!

I was reading an article last night about "The Elusive One". You know what I'm talking of. Not "the One" as in the Matrix movie trilogy but the one as in the Prince Charming who sweeps the girls off their feet.

I was wondering why do we girls always are on a lookout for the one? And who told us about him? The answer is, we've been growing up with this notion inspired from the Fairy tales at bedtime, the colourful Bollywood films where the hero is what we all are looking for! It simply is - "The righteous one whose masculine appeal lies in the strong physical body and intense eyes, yet is sensitive to our every qualms and pains. Especially when we PMS!" And we didn't even realise it!

I've been single all my 22 years of my life. Yes, a few of us do exist not because we never found interesting men but simply because we're heading the chase for the One! The guys I meet are interesting but somehow not what I am looking for.

Now in case you're wondering what am I looking for, I'll list out the usual. Tall, Dark and Handsome with a sense of Humour. Now, this shouldn't be difficult one might say. But when I mean Tall, Dark and Handsome, it means, not less than a six-footer, not so dark that I see only the whites of his eyes( Yes, I'm very shallow as you can see) , not very handsome that I become insecure about! I think this is a decent request since I'm no Beauty queen myself! Ah yes, I almost forgot! The "Sense of Humour" criteria!

A lot of guys might want to question what I mean by the right kind of sense of humour. Simple! The jokes he cracks shouldn't be centred around Toilets, Farts, Blondes, Wives, and disastrous cooking, but then, shouldn't always be dry and boring. He's allowed to joke about the women I don't appreciate ( let in some sarcasm slip by) or about the politicians, or maybe a little more. Easy as ABC, right?!

So the search continues...